aside Dating Advice: Gorillas

cropped-img_29712.jpgIt’s late in the morning. I have a bunch of ideas. I have 3 projects that should have gone out last week but next week is more likely.

I spent my money on supplies and good groceries but I’m spending my time cutting diamond jewelry out of fashion magazines for a collage I’m not sure why I’m making and eating from a 2 pound bag of Halloween candy. I’m not getting anything done and I don’t feel good, but I’ll soldier on.

Here is a Gorilla story and some dating advice.

Did you know the biggest, ugliest Gorillas also have the shortest, tiniest dicks? It’s because the big Gorillas fight each other to impress inexperienced lady Gorillas into mating with them.  After the fight, the lady Gorillas basically back themselves up to the winning Gorilla and mate with him. Over time those dominant Gorillas developed tiny dicks and short lifespans.

What about the other less dominant Gorillas, you ask? They take a different approach when they look for a mate. Since they aren’t big fighters, they spend more time getting to know the lady Gorillas before mating with them.  They don’t see lady Gorillas as weak objects to crush physically or psychologically as a way to rebuild themselves after a day of fighting with the other Gorillas for dominance. Without all that toxic tiny dick baggage, these other Gorillas mate more often with their lady Gorillas, have bigger dicks and live longer, happier lives.

 Be careful dating a middle-aged Porsche driver is all I’m saying.

Do you go downtown for sushi?

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